In Spring/Summer 2022, a few weeks after I had joined BODS, we were asked to prepare a short ‘speech’ about ourselves and why we wanted to join the group. Reading it back now there’s a couple of lines that stand out to me. I wrote: “I never knew what I wanted to do with my life and I’ll admit I still don’t know” and “Instead of just wondering I decided I’ll just give it a go, otherwise I’ll never know what I can get from this if I don’t try.” Here I am 18 months later and it seems I’ve found an answer to those statements…
What I am writing and about to say is something I would never have done a year ago and BODS has played a big part in me getting to this point. I am a person who has struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember, wondering why the help for my ‘anxiety and depression’ wasn’t actually making me feel any better. Over the years I (unintentionally) created unhelpful ways to cope with the difficulty of merely existing, leading to dissociative symptoms and alcohol dependence. 18 months ago I began a ‘recovery journey’ where I have since become aware that a lot of my problems are as a result of complex trauma. To have my ‘BODS journey’ run alongside this as well has helped me to cope a lot better.
My soul was always calling me to the stage and I finally heard it when presented with the opportunities from BODS. You can be involved as much or as little as you’d like whether you want to act, help with backstage work and set design or just turn up as an audience member and stay for the afterparty! Personally I’ve been lucky enough to take part in; stage shows playing a range of characters, drama festivals and short films- all within the space of a year. So many chances to do things I never believed someone like me could do. As someone who struggles with a lot of everyday ‘simple’ tasks, being a part of this group makes me feel like I can do anything.
I’m very thankful that it is a safe space where you can be yourself without fear of judgement or ridicule. It’s helped me to improve my social skills and gain confidence, realising that confidence doesn’t have to mean being extroverted but having the trust to be your authentic self. So finally, I know what I want to do with my life and feel it has to be something related to drama/acting. What I got from trying this was a sense of purpose and belonging that I have never experienced before. I’m so glad I tried instead of wondering what could have been.
- Amy
